Halfway

Ugh. Feeling pretty low right now. Can't believe that I'm only halfway through WUB (taking Mel's acronym for Wait Until Beta). I know I said that I was done analyzing signs and all that... but I guess I lied. It's just that I don't feel anything. During WUB with the girls I was out of breath, slightly nauseous, and my boobs hurt like hell. Right now -- nothing. Zip. Zero. Nada. (Except I'm constantly eating...I think that's nerves though!)

I know each pregnancy is different. I know that, but it's still got me feeling down.

I just so want this to work. I feel like Kristen from the Biggest Loser. Just as you finally admit how much you really really want it and damn it you deserve it, you're voted off.

I also just got back from a meeting with our Superintendent which was not so super. The cuts are pretty ugly. They think that they can handle it all without having to resort to a RIF (Reduction In Workforce--ie firing people with tenure) but they aren't sure. So basically I'm still walking on that ledge, and I won't know for sure which way I fall for at least another month...or more. I think that legally they are required to tell me by June 15th.

I just hate uncertainty!! It seems like my whole life is full of it!

Plus, I'm still not done writing those stupid journals! And class is tomorrow! I have 2 journals, 1 paper, 2 cubes to make, and 2 anchoring activities. Damn, that's a lot of work. I sure don't feel like doing any of it!! *Sigh* Guess I'll start on the paper & cubes and when I finish I'll reward myself with a little break...