Tuesday, August 18, 2009


I found myself again! And, boy oh boy, is it good to be back!!

I'm not entirely sure what is responsible for my turnaround, but I'm sure it is a lot of things adding up together.

I'm back at school, and I'm getting excited about the upcoming year. I love when everything is all fresh, new, and shiny. I get an odd *thrill* from my basket of freshly sharpened pencils, clean name tags, and neatly arranged desks... (I could go on and on) It's been nice to have something to focus on that isn't about myself. That definitely helped.

I had seriously one of the best weekends of my life. E and I decided to have a mini-vacation in our own city. We pricelined a fancy hotel, chose the chef's tasting menu (with wine pairings!) at a wonderful restaurant I've wanted to go to for awhile now, and then drove up the coast to spend time in my favorite little beach town (completed by eating some really really good lobster rolls). It was spontaneous and wonderful. It made me remember how good our relationship is and why we are together.

I've settled into this cycle. I'm (dare I say it?) feeling hopeful! (Perhaps inspired by this wonderful video from Megan and how she cranked her hope-o-meter up to 5) I also realized that it's okay to be scared about negatives, but it isn't the end of my world. I can try again. I can keep trying until I get the result I want. There is no end of this journey until I say The End. I know IVF can work for me, it already has once. I know it will again. (I just really do hope it is this cycle!)


  1. I'm so happy to see YOU so happy! And hopeful! =)

    You're right: You can do this!

    Glad you and E were able to reconnect.

  2. That's so funny about your "odd thrill" - I'm like that too. I love stuff like that and can't quite explain it.

    Hooray for hope!!

    and lobster rolls... mmmMMmmmmmMm

  3. Woo Hoo! Sounds like a great minivaca! And I am so glad that there is so much hope in your voice! fingers crossed!