Jobless?

So awhile back I wrote this, describing how I could possibly loose my job. Since then a lot of crazy shit has gone down. I wrote earlier that while I was concerned, I was feeling okay since I had tenure. I have since come to learn that my tenure was never granted this year due to a change in policy. It no longer matters your start date, tenure will only be counted under contract years. I've been in the system for 5 years, but this is only my 3rd contract year... Hence, no tenure. So when my system gave out pink slips to all non-tenured staff, I received one too. We since been hanging out in limbo land. We know that most of us will be rehired, but that approximately 30 of us will not be. It's all a matter of the shakedown of tenured staff who have had positions cut, and then principal discretion. (Fortunately, my principal likes me.)

Last Wednesday I attended the craziest School Committee meeting where they FIRED our Director of HR... WHILE HE SAT IN THE AUDIENCE!! They also got all snippy with each other, but that is nothing new with our committee. Supposedly, this coming Wednesday at the next meeting, it will be announced who is staying and who will not be rehired.

This month has not been without some nervousness... but I've done a good job keeping it in check. Staying calm, floating above. Today I crashed down to the ground. I don't think that I'll be jobless... But nothing is guaranteed. Last time I had to go through this insanely intense job search, it killed me. I went into a huge depression. I'm not sure that I'm strong enough to face this summer knowing that I have to start looking all over again.

Please send some positive calming thoughts my way if you have any to spare. I could sure use them right about now.