Coming Out

We had a fantastic ultrasound on Tuesday. Truly, truly amazing. My first look at my babies AS babies... No longer blobs with flickers for hearts. They have limbs and bodies and FACES! Man, it is such an awesome experience to see that. I could stare for hours. I think that is the only thing I feel sorry for fertiles about, think of how many u/s viewings they miss out on!! Anyways, it was great to see that everyone is doing well and jumping and waving and talking away (or rather just moving their mouth, but I viewed it as chatting, haha).

Riding that high, I decided to tell everyone while I was feeling so good about things. People jumped, screamed, and I won't lie, there were a number of tears. These women that I teach with are amazing, kind-hearted people, who saw and experienced with me the heartache of losing my girls. It was wonderful to bring joy into their lives and to see their happiness beaming in their eyes. I felt loved and protected. My next hurdle is telling my parents (ugh)... Sorry, not my parents (they know) the parents of my students! Mostly they will be happy, but being parents, they consider their children first (as they should) and I will be leaving them come April (dare I hope to make it to May??) Sometimes parents can get a little snippy about it. However, we have 'visitation day' (otherwise known as torture your teacher by standing in the back of the room while she teaches and make her exceptional anxious) coming up next week. One real look at me, not in a winter jacket, and the gig is up! I'm definitely showing already... So, I'll bite the bullet and let them know this week or next.

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More thoughts on my prior post of friendship. A fellow RESOLVE board member wrote me with her thoughts on what I wrote... And it made me realize that one of the reasons I'm okay with life how it is, is because I have her and the rest of the members and the community here in the blogsphere. I may never meet any of you IRL, but I can't discount what your friendship has meant to me this past year. At first I was hesitant to call it Friendship, but as my Good Friend pointed out... That's exactly what it is. In some ways I feel closer to you than I do to people who surround me in everyday living. So, thanks for that :) I owe you so much and I hope that in some small way I can fill that void for you too and repay that debt.